Though these quotes usually come from a good place and are told to someone in a genuine moment of encouragement, let's face it-they can be pretty annoying. For instance: hearing that 'everything happens for a reason' when you have $25 in your bank account and feeding yourself has become a challenge of will power and creativity, and every morning you wake up more tired and confused about what the actual f*ck you are doing with your life- half-hearted vague inspirational quotes can feel more like an aggravation than words of wisdom. Of course, being the contradictory and hypocritical human beings that we are, I would be lying if I didn't confess to having spewed a few of these phrases in a friend's moment of weakness when I didn't know what else to say.
That's the thing about life quotes and phrases, they tend to pop up when we don't know what to say. The danger with that is they can be empty words. Hollow words that look better with a trendy Instagram filter or in an affordable Ikea frame at a dentist's office rather then spoken over someone in a time of need. So where did they come from? Why do we say them, and is there really any meaning to them?
Well, that's where life comes in...and another cheesy life phrase, "You never know until you try". Yup, I just did that, I went there.
No matter how many times I have yearned to not admit that my parents, teachers and older, wiser friends were right, they were. You just aren't going to understand or see the reasons for the things that they tell you or the words of caution they give you until you've lived through it for yourself, period. No amount of understanding a concept in your head or thinking about a life lesson will teach it thoroughly to you. You have to experience life on your own, go through a tough season, struggle for a little while-or a long while, learn a lesson the hard way, look really stupid, and come to terms with the fact that no, you will not always understand why things are happening and that's okay. We weren't created to know everything and we certainly weren't created to be perfect. Let's stop trying to pretend like we have it all together and just live through the times that we feel like Sandra Bullock in Gravity-alone and terrified. Get it Sandy.
There will be a time down the road that you can look back and reflect on tough and confusing times in your life and have ultimate, peaceful clarity. At least, that's what I tell myself. It might happen sooner than you think, or it might take a really long time to understand things about yourself or your life. Fortunately, I have begun to see the fruit of that, and it tastes good...or maybe it just means I am getting old enough to actually have enough life to "look back on" things. Either way, I promise clarity will come and the more life you live, pieces will fall into place. No, they are not going to be perfect or exactly how you imagined them, sometimes worse, sometimes better. Sometimes it will feel like you aren't making any type of movement or progress in life, in your job, in your career, or in your relationships. That simply just isn't true. Logically, if you think about it, there's really no way you aren't constantly changing and moving towards something new and different. Unless you are literally trying to stay completely the same every day, which I don't think is even possible, you are moving.
Like my dear old chum C.S. Lewis likes to say, "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different..."
You are discovering more and more each day about who you are and what you want. Yes, it may seem like you are taking two steps forward and one giant step backwards. Yes your steps might be so minuscule you can't even feel or see them, but the important thing is that you are moving. You are trying your best to keep going and some day things will click and you will be able to tangibly feel and see how far you've come.
Your twenties can be a terrifying and unsettled time. They can also be exhilarating and tons of fun. The most important thing is that you are aware of the imperfections and open to what opportunities may come your way. Come to terms with the fact that your parents and teachers were probably right, and thank them when you finally understand what they are talking about. Thank your friends who support you and listen to you complain about your crappy auditions and parking tickets. Read a good book about being in your twenties and humble and educate yourself by listening to wiser, older citizens' stories. Be aware that no matter how much you accomplish and brag about on Facebook, your friends and family are what really matter. Without them, you would have no one to celebrate with and no one to talk you through the confusing and tough times. (Cue Bridesmaids quote from Helen: "And we just sat and drank wine and ate peanut brittle and I shared things with you that I've never shared with anyone").
Though I certainly don't have all the answers, I do know that there probably is a reason why most things happen to us...and why these cheesy life phrases have stuck around for so long. Even if we don't understand the why, we need to be patient and trust ourselves. Let life breath a little and cherish the sweet moments in your day to day life that get you through all the messy stuff.
Oh, and I also know for sure that I can't be friends with anyone who has a "Live, Laugh, Love" quote framed anywhere in their home. Nope.
