So it's a pretty typical night. Here I sit hunched over my precious macbook, a glass of two-buck-chuck in hand, head throbbing from scrolling through endless Craigslist part time job postings, stomach aching from consuming pizza for the third time in a row this week, and yes I'll admit it...I'm starting to feel pretty sorry for myself. Sorry that I can't seem to find an affordable apartment without having to move to Lancaster, sorry that all of the well paying flexible jobs for young woman aged 18-28 require several "full body shots", and sorry that no matter how much time and effort I put into trying to think up the perfect LA living-working-acting-writing situation, I keep coming up short.
Moment of silence for a middle class white girl who thinks she has it hard. Annnnnd we're done. Suck it up Thompson and do something productive! Ok well I don't know how productive this one will be, but let's at least try and have some fun. After all, I am sitting in a full size bed with clean sheets, a roof over my head, typing on a laptop I was able to afford to put on a credit card three years ago that I still haven't fully paid off. Life can't be all that bad right?
So, here goes. A list inspired by my current search for better employment and affordable living in Los Angeles. A list of things that got me through the last three years. A list of my practical survival tips if you will....and I think you will.
1. Chocolate. All chocolate is great, but especially the impulsive bar you grab while standing in line at the grocery store hoping you have enough money to pay for the frozen taquitos, eggs, and cheap wine you are clinging to. This chocolate bar will be the reason you plead with the cashier, "no don't put that in the bag, I'll take it!" so you can cram it into your mouth in a hungry-nervous fluster as you drag all your bags to the car, drive home and wonder if your card will overdraft. Or chocolate Cadbury eggs, damn those are good.
2. A Sense of Humor. Now this one can seem pretty obvious, but it's incredibly important. It's most essential when your car breaks down in the middle of the 405 and you have to somehow pull over in four lanes of rush hour traffic without harming yourself, your passenger, or any other innocent bystander. It's also very essential when the towing and mechanic companies call you with a number that you only ever associated with your entire credit card limit so you can laugh out loud and let them know with confidence and swag to just "put it on my tab".
3. A Strong Junk Mail Deleting Finger. Yup, this one gets more important as you get older, as I am pretty certain that every year you age your junk mail intake increases proportionately. It's best to figure out some fancy means to cut the junk mail off at the pass and avoid it all together, but let's be honest-sometimes things slip and we end up with several hundred emails to delete. Hence, the strong finger. I recommend finger dancing exercises to really stretch and keep your deleting finger of choice agile and ready for battle. Also, a thiz face helps with this too.
4. Eminem. He's got some great inspiring jams to really kick your ass into gear if you don't mind a few clever expletives here and there. It will make you feel like the king of your crappy valley apartment. Put on a hoodie and belt it out and you'd be surprised how your day will start to look up. Also, it's funny to throw up your sweatshirt hood in public, start a slow jog, maybe throw in a one-two punch and scream MOMS SPAGHETTI to the unsuspecting people around you.
5. A Facebook Inception. Yes that is what I am talking about. When you have gotten yourself into a deep, deep, embarrassing social media rabbit hole (I have found that Facebook tends to be the worst kind) and you feel as if things are starting to become dark, scary, and pathetic, you MUST be able to remember you are living a real life in real time and that precious time is ticking by, and SNAP OUT OF IT. Slam your laptop closed, slap yourself in the face, immediately stand up and pretend you were doing yoga the whole time, whatever it is that works for you-DO IT. No one wants to walk into your room to find you hunched over your computer on photo 2,347 of a total stranger. No one. You're better than that.
6. A Few Great Pandora Stations. Ok so maybe I am a little out of touch with the coolest music website or stations or whatever (Songza, Spotify, Mahogony Sessions), but you get what I mean. Have a couple great, inspiring music stations that will allow you to be introduced to new, interesting music. I know I have discovered some awesome and unique jams because of Pandora and great international YouTube music channels. Put it on when you are doing menial tasks or sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and you might be surprised how new, great music inspires you. Or change it to 90's Pop Hits and burn a few calories while you do laundry.
7. The Ability to Figure It Out. I truly believe one of the most important skills you can have to be successful in anything that you do is self-assurance. The ability to say to yourself or to someone else, "You know what, no, I don't know how to do that but I will figure it out", or at the very least Google something. Research it. Read a book for crying out loud. We live in a time where literally any piece of knowledge is at our fingertips. Use that. Educate yourself on new things daily and weekly. Challenge yourself to learn new skills and don't ever be that lame person that uses the excuse "Oh I can't, I don't know how to do that". That's fine if you don't know how to do something, but you are more than capable to learn. I promise. Of course it's ok to ask for help, but I bet if you pushed yourself even more than you thought possible-you could gain new skills that you never realized you had.
8. Perspective. Ahh, one of my all time favorites. Just the other day I was sitting in my car watching the horror that was a minor fender bender unfold before my eyes in the lane next to me. The way this "man" chose to deal with the very minor, normal mistake was incredibly selfish, mean-spirited, and unnecessarily dramatic. Look man, I get it, it's annoying, someone else accidentally tapped your moving piece of plastic and metal with theirs, but the reality is that no matter how important it was to get to Chipotle right this second, or how much money you paid to have your crappy 1984 Chevy be painted that dull baby poop brown color-you know the kind of paint that takes all the shine out (what is UP with that stuff anyways?!) was it really worth yelling and degrading an elderly woman in front of your son so he sees how much hate and anger you have living inside you for everyone and everything? I would like to think not, and I think you should be ashamed of yourself for being such a horrible example of patience and manhood in front of your son, and for what- a tiny scratch on the back of a car you probably spend more time and attention on than your own children? Perspective man, perspective.
9. A Great Friend..or Two or Three. This one speaks for itself. If you are lucky enough to have a friend in your life that is honest with you, supports you no matter what, lifts you up when you feel lower than low, drinks cheap wine with you and entertains your long nonsensical whining rants about life and relationships, hold on tight to that person. Hold on with dear life and don't let go. Also, if you have two or three of this caliber of quality friends, you should consider yourself a very rich person. Stop whining and go do something nice for them.
10. A Mentor. I have come to learn that asking for help can be really hard, but also really rewarding. Finding an older, wiser, more experienced person who you can look up to and follow in their footsteps in certain ways is a huge blessing. Find someone who you can engage in great conversations with about your life, your career goals, and your desires and take them out to coffee or dinner. Write them thank you cards and study how they live their life. Don't copy them of course, but strive to replicate the success and great reputation they have created for themselves. Learn from their patience, hard work, expertise, and be patient for your own path. It will come when it's supposed to come and continuing to look up and outwards to people you admire will help you stop looking down and only focusing on your short comings.
11. A Cheap Happy Hour. Cheap alcohol. Need I say more? Whatever your poison is in this department- smooth gin, a great margarita, or a rich glass of cabernet, drink up! It's ok to enjoy yourself once in a while. Especially if it's a two-for-one special in the middle of the afternoon with great friends. So you may have to put a round or two on your credit card once in a while, so what? If you work too hard and never stop to enjoy the day to day-regardless of your work or financial situation, then what's the point? I have a strong belief that all work and no play makes a very dull jane.
12. An Open Mind. I can't tell you how many times I have spoken these words to my friends and to myself: "Just try it, you never know if you will like it or not..if it doesn't work out at least you know it wasn't for you". Now obviously this advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt-and definitely needs to be in the right context, but I think it is IMPERATIVE to not immediately shut down new ideas or new opportunities, or even new relationships. Of course don't put yourself through something you hate or think is un-healthy for you, but in the same breath how do you know if you don't TRY? Different is scary. Change is scary. Challenge is scary. You know what else is really scary? Never trying or changing or challenging anything about yourself or your life. THAT'S scary.
13. A Great Black Blazer. Ah, the "oh shit I just woke up hungover and I have two back to back job interviews and an audition today on the other side of the hill" predicament. Enter the classic, well-fitted, black blazer. Boys and girls LISTEN UP. I don't care WHO you are or WHAT you do with your life, as long as you own a nice, simple black blazer, everything is going to be ok. Reach for it in your time of need, take care of it, roll a lint roller over it from time to time, and make sure when you put it on leave your self-doubt and insecurities at the door. Watch out world! You have your black blazer on and you can accomplish anything! Dark grey or navy blue blazers could work too...but I'm not promising anything.
14. Other Hobbies. GET A LIFE. Seriously, seriously. Pick up a fun hobby, go on a hike, plan a trip to a place you have never been before. Learn to play the guitar. Write a blog. Bake a cake. Just do SOMETHING. Sitting around and over-thinking what you should be or could be doing is taking two steps backwards and adding a lot of unnecessary stress in your life. As long as you don't get a life just to turn back around and Instagram the shit out of it so you can prove to everyone how much your life rocks. Do something you love because you love to do it and it excites and inspires you. Do something and live in the moment and don't worry about taking the perfect photo of the sun streaming in behind that perfectly placed smoothie. I promise you if you find yourself feeling stuck and not having the opportunities you want to have, keep doing. Do something else for a little while to get your mind off of it and you will feel a million times better.
15. A Bigger Picture. No, I am not talking about using Cropic to make sure you get your whole sizzling hot body in your Instagram photo. I am talking about a mature and profound realization that your life isn't the center of the universe. Your life is meaningful and great, yes of course, but there is a greater story at work. If you are a spiritual person or a person of faith like myself, I can rest assured that in the moments I feel small and weak and insignificant I know there is a bigger story and a greater good that is constantly at work and moving even if I feel like a pathetic stagnate loser. Open your eyes to what is around you. Volunteer nearby at a shelter or a half-way house. Call your family and tell them you love and appreciate all they have done for you. Write a letter to your grandparents. Make a care package for soldiers overseas. Visit a children's hospital and tell stupid jokes. Constantly remind yourself that yes you may be feeling lost and alone and frustrated in life, but I have found the moment I am starting to hate myself for being selfish or ungrateful, all I need to do is lift up my head, open my eyes, take a step back, and walk in another direction for a bit. Give a little of your precious time and thought to someone else or something bigger than yourself, and let yourself be surprised at the sense of satisfaction and peace it will bring.
So there you have it. Go forth and be of good cheer. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems in this moment. You're gonna be just fine, you'll see.
